Little Kiwi and Bauhaus

Little Kiwi and Bauhaus
A Boy and His Dog

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Life Goes On, Bigotry Remains?

My best friend was recently contact, via facebook (of course), by an old friend from high school whom he has not seen or communicated with in about ten years. They were good friends in their early teens, and truth be told, for a very long while Mark was her only friend.
This is an exact transcript of how their first exchange in 10 years played out.

Crystal Schlieker
November 30 at 7:40pm
Mark--It is wonderful to find you here. My mom told me that you got great reviews in Omaha last week. I was back for Thanksgiving, and it was too bad that your concert wasn't a week later. I am in Chicago now--if you are ever up here, let me know! I hope you are doing well, and I would love to stay in touch!

Mark Equality Willett November 30 at 10:15pm
How's Chicago? It's good to hear from you.

I guess you should make sure you know who I am before you decide if you want to see my statuses pop up on your page. I'm very out and proud and have become a firm believer in equal rights, especially for gay marriage. It's important to me.
I'm not sure we would see eye to eye on these things. When I was in HS you told me you were afraid for my soul because I was gay and warned me I might go to Hell. It's something that's stuck with me my whole life. I'm not angry or anything, rather, it helped me decide that my life was not wrong and that I was born this way. And knowing I was definitely born this way, I can take comfort that I am still a good person and will be loved in the afterlife for being true to who I was made to be.
I'd love to keep in touch either way, but I'll hold off on us butting heads with my sexuality over Facebook, for now.
I treasure all our memories and friendship.


Crystal Schlieker November 30 at 11:05pm
Chicago is good! I have been here just over 2 years, and I love it. It has taken me a while to get adjusted back to America. I don't know if you knew or not, but I was in China for five years after college. I just moved back to America in 2007.

I want to thank you for your candidness and please know, that I would very much like to keep in touch regardless of what we agree or disagree about. For me, facebook is an easy way to do that, but if you perfer to have my email that is also fine. It is true that we do not see eye to eye, but please know that I have always loved you very much. I actually have been hoping to get back in contact with you for a long time. My beliefs are unchanged, though perhaps now at the age of 29, I am sure I would have more tact in expressing them, then I did ten years ago! Please know that I am not looking for a facebook argument, or any kind of argument for that matter! I have many friends in all different walks of life, and I am not one to get into cyber discussions about much. So, as long as you are also ok with seeing my statuses pop on your page, I am also fine.

I have always loved you as my good friend and also remember and treasure so many memories! I would really like to know more about what you have been up to with performing, etc. My performing is now limited to a great show for 2nd and 3rd graders. But I love it...what can I say.


Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Born Gay into the World of the Latter Day Saints

I received this email today from a friend. It's a forward of an email he sent to a member of his family. My friend is gay. My friend was born into a Mormon family. He has since left the church.
I asked him, today, if he still identified as Mormon.
His reply:
"I attended church growing up, but I never really believed it since I was old enough to think critically about it. I believe there's the possibility of something out there, but nothing we're capable of comprehending literally"

I think his letter speaks volumes about the effect this religion has on many LGBT people born into it, into a world full of rules and laws that restrict who they are as human beings.
This is his letter------

"It's hard not to feel "judged" or "disliked" when you write things such as "Please understand that this is the plan of the same sex issue is not just "acceptance", it is to silence and destroy their opposition, to redefine religion and ultimately to erode faith in an all knowing and loving God," being fully aware that I fall into this category. Your own words do nothing but show your disdain for me and the rest of the gay community, including those completely comfortable with their sexuality and their Christianity. There's even those who struggle to maintain their sexuality as well as their LDS-upbringing, generally to the detriment of both. I feel pity for those that are so conflicted. Your own words, were they to be read by a teenager struggling with this issue and had respect for you, would be put in danger of taking their own life. It's not surprising, yet so tragic, that Utah leads the nation in suicides for boys at this difficult time (15-24).,5143,635201873,00.html How many of them do you think are children of people who feel and speak just the way you do? Empathy is not something native to many Mormons, more like "our way or the highway" (as evidenced by my brother who referred to those in disagreement with the Church's standing on Prop 8 as "not true Mormons."

To clarify why I may not speak to you respectfully, it's because in these and many ways I don't have much respect for you. Your words are dangerous to those who are most vulnerable. I'm on a couple social sites that are geared specifically towards gays/lesbians. I make it clear in my profile that I was born and raised Mormon, and at least once a month or two I get someone from somewhere in the country who messages me struggling with the very issues I described above, asking for my advice and how I got through it. I feel bad I can't help them more, since my journey coming out was much easier, since I had gotten over the whole "burning in hell" thing years before. And no, I don't automatically advocate them leaving the church and say that they'll for sure feel much better once they do. I can't wait for the day when they don't have to go through this at all, because I believe the church will rescind their policy of discriminating against their gay and lesbian members (just like they changed their policy about "dark-skinned people"). After all, it's all about gaining more members, and if a policy, such as doctrinated racism, becomes unpopular to the public, then the Chuch will eventually change their stance. And once again, the Church will do a fantastic job of re-writing their own history to their members to make them feel comfortable that it was never an issue at all. No one will have the need to "redefine religion" because the church will do it itself in order to survive in a more progressive world.

If you had the heart to listen to these kids, I don't see how you could possibly feel like this is just some "choice" that one day people wake up and decide they want to try... For most it's years of confusion, fighting it, guilt, religious contradiction, and fear of abandonment by those who claim to love them. Some of these kids become adults who get married and have children, being told by church leaders that once they're married these feelings will just go away. This horrid policy that was the norm 10-30 years ago is destroying families all over. After all, it's no longer just the husband/wife that becomes affected, it's their spouse and children. Luckily that policy changed, and now (from what I hear from these kids and adults still attending church) bishops tell them to remain celibate until they "get over it." Though still a sad, impossible mandate, at least it allows the person time to figure it out on their own before jumping the gun and getting involved with someone else.

I truly wish you had to go through what the "not true Mormon" parents of gays and lesbians did, and their conflicts with loving their children and still feeling part of the LDS Church (or hey, even the ones who did decide to abandon their child; I'm sure even most of them felt it was a difficult choice). After all, hearts and minds are softened one by one, as the general public discovers more and more that they are close to someone who is gay. As much as you like to believe in these "umbrella gay groups" that tell me how to think and behave, I don't need to be told that I want to be with someone I love and cherish, or that I would like to be accepted fully by family. Neither do the rest of the gays and lesbians, at any point in their life. If you were capable of thinking about gays and lesbians as fellow human beings (brothers, sisters, parents, children, best friends, coworkers, etc.) rather than "same sex issue people," you would know it too."

Thank You for your honesty, my friend.

Sunday, 18 October 2009

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Sometimes One Person Can Liberate Many

Beautiful, Eh?

Be Silly. Laugh more. Dance more. Care less about what you think others will think

Love, Little Kiwi

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Saturday, 26 September 2009


JUICE.....and more. Much more! Much MUCH more!

Love, Little Kiwi

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Time To Open Your Eyes

I love this ad. Love it. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Simple. Effective. Rad.

Monday, 14 September 2009

Gettin' Existential

And by "existential" I mean "totally lit"....but it was in Canada, by a lake, so that justifies everything.....

Monday, 7 September 2009

Saturday, 5 September 2009

In Defense of My Glorious Femme Brothers

The utter bullshit that is "Why Do Some Gay Guys Act Like Flamboyant Girly Queens"?
Now, who asks this question? Simple - gay men who are still terrified of what straight people are thinking about them, as gay men.  Truth.

Let's approach this from a place of reality and honesty.  Before a person is Out, they've been living an inauthentic lie of a life.  They've been Playing Straight.  What does this mean? It means they've lived in a way that has been coloured by a need to "not let people know that they're gay" - that *need* is eliminated when one Comes Out.

Now, it's very hard to "be yourself" when one does not know how to "be themselves" because they've spent years being someone else to society. Why do some guys have a change of energy, and perhaps get more flamboyant, when they intitially Come Out? Because they're doing everything they weren't allowed to do, or couldn't allow themselves to be, when they were living in the closet.  There's no longer a need to "appear straight" - no LIE to keep up.  You force out everything that was oppressed and many times it comes out in one big sparkly explosion. Does it last? Sometimes. Sometimes people just get it all out, find that the new energy is not "them" and find a new way to be. The real question is: "Does it matter?" They're hurting no one at all by wearing tight jeans and shirts.

What about the images other gay guys create? The 19 year old white boy decked in Abercrombie or thug-gear, flashing gang signals in his profile photos and trying (in vain) to pose "straight"? I'd lay down a year's salary that baby aint in a gang, but he flashes the gang signals because in his social sphere, that's considered "cool".
See what I mean? We all have our own image of how we want to be seen.

You see them and you see *girls* and you don't want to date *girls*. *yawwwwwn* Ugh. That's fine. Just as long as you realise that when many people see you they'll see a poseur-whiteboy trying to be 'thug' and not succeeding, and that will be a reason why guys will not want to date you.

I have, however, never in my life seen the "flamboyant femme guys" rudely judging non-flamboyant, non-femme guys. Ever.
You find me one profile that says "not into masculine butch guys" "not into guys who act 'like men'" or the bullshit that is "Being gay is just a small part of who i am..." and the downplaying of orientation in your life. it's just nonsense.

i challenge you. Honestly. Find me five profiles that put down non-femme gay dudes. Heck, find me ONE.
What you'll find instead is profile after profile putting down "femme" guys, and more nonsense about being into "guys who act like guys, and are 'str8-acting', and don't act all gay and aren't flamboyant and aren't all about being gay". These profiles also have a high tendency to list ethnic requirements for dating too (ie, the ubiquitus "Not into fats fems asians or blacks"), suggesting some real insecurities and issues at work, but hey, that's another topic.

The Gay Community doesn't tell anyone to fit a stereotype to be considered Gay. It's the fault of the Not-OUT non-femme gay guys for not having a visible enough presence, socially and politically, to have their own equally-accessible community.  Ignorant straight people and insecure homosexual men are the ones who falsely claim that there's a "pressure to be one kind of gay".  I call bullshit on that.  There pressure is on folks to NOT be "that kind of gay" because "that kind of gay" is mocked and belittled by ignorant straight people, and the insecure homosexuals who suck up to them for tolerance.  GOProud anyone? Exactly.

Do i notice that some gay guys embrace a more feminine aesthetic when they come out? Yes.
And I also notice that the only guys who have an 'issue' with it are massively insecure types who pride themselves on their ability to (often in their eyes alone) "pass for straight". The guys who justify being gay by embracing the stereotypes of the hetereosexual male population instead.  And who, exactly, can't tell that they're gay?  Non-Savvy straight people?  Anyone can "pass" if they want to badly enough.  But it's about as noble as tip-toeing around the blind.  I've never met a gay man I couldn't tell was gay - when you're Out long enough, and have interacted with enough varied types of LGBT over the years you learn to see past supposed "stereotypes" and are able to identify Family.

Newsflash: really, truly masculine guys don't give a fuck if another guy acts more 'femme' or not. in discussing your attitudes about femme guys, all you dudes have done is shown your own insecurities about being gay. know it. think about. work on it.

Dudes who are clearly still a victim of emasculation issues.

Newsflash Number 2: all this "be a man" talk? men have balls. many of you are not fully Out. therefore you have no balls. be a man, grow a pair, and come out, instead of sitting here judging and criticizing the 'femme' guys who DO have the balls to be Out. that's another part of your critique of them: you see how they dress, and how they act, and you think they're 'feminine' and weak......but these prettyboys are fully Out. And a lot of you are not. Therefore you're emasculated by them. They're femme and they're unafraid, and you mock them even though you have less courage than they do. it's blatantly obvious to anyone who knows anything about Human Nature.

and i repeat: find me ANY profiles online that put down "masc guys". i challenge you. you'll find plenty of "not into fats, fems asians or blacks" but i doubt you'll find any of the opposite.

why? because those who no longer give a fuck about people knowing that they're gay don't spend time worrying about such things.

saying that you're "masc" is like saying that you're "cool" - to be it, one must first stop hoping that people think you ARE it.  

too many gay men think "masc" or "masculine" means "nobody can tell that i'm gay" - NONSENSE.  one can be visibly, identifiably, obviously GAY and still be, and embody, what society deems to be "masculine" - and if you disagree then you prove that you still see masculinity through the prism of heterosexual, misogynistic anti-gay prejudice.  

and that's not very masc of you, bro. ;-)

masculinity, being a societal concept, clearly means something different to everyone.  so if and why you use "masc" as a descriptor, just remember you're likely to be disappointed that people don't assume it means the same thing as you.

Friday, 14 August 2009


The imagination-deprived plebes of the gay community. Our equivalent to the stupid teenage girls that do what other teenage girls are doing because it's what everyone else is doing because their magazines and demographically-targeted television programs dictate their lives.
I think Aberzombies should be used as landfill.

Love, Little Kiwi

Friday, 7 August 2009

Riff and his Mum

An afternoon chat with my Mum
Love, Little Kiwi.

Thursday, 30 July 2009

"Period Cock"

Mum, if you're reading this, know I love you so much and I'm so proud that you're supportive of everything I do, but don't watch this one.
You've been warned.

Little Kiwi

Monday, 27 July 2009

Back in (Karen) Black

Ok, so I saw showbiz legend Karen Black perform a one-woman cabaret/show about her life and career augmented by some rather bravura "Berlin Cabaret"-style vocals. It was a surreal Lynch-ian bliss-out. This woman is an icon. And it's interesting that she's attained iconic status in both the horror-fan community, and in the LGBT community, because let's be honest: us gays get her and she gets us gays. Her absolute radness was summed up, to me, in her complete willingness to pose for this shot with my pup-a-licious buddy Matt and I. I asked if we could give "Day of the Locust-shoulder". She gave us both a complete up-and-down scan, and purred "Of course, boyss."
She knew exactly what I meant. I love self-aware icons.

Saturday, 18 July 2009

Why I Do What I Do

So, yes. Pride Parades *do* help.

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Tell Your Story, Save a Life

There's an incredible young man named Nathan Manske who has a new site up, and it's a terrific project.
LGBT stories. Just little slices of life.
Share yours, hear others, and realise that none of us are alone.
I had the privilege to take part in this project. This is my video.

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

How Long Has This Been Going On?

May 27th, 2009. The day Prop 8 was upheld by the California Supreme Court saw protests marches across America. Here is a little video I took of the one I participated in in New York City. From Stonewall to Union Square. We will win this battle. Equality will be extended to us. And the history books will reveal Prop 8 supporters to be the shameful bigots that they are.
Here's a little video I took of my experience that day.
Pride Forever.

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Thoughts on Life

Sorta speaks for itself. Enjoy!
Love, Little Kiwi

and more variations on themes....

and for the unintiated, the videos that made us laugh, and then made us cry.

Sunday, 29 March 2009

Does Anyone Remember Laughter?

You know those moments when you're hanging out with a friend who's younger than you, but they're very mature and you never really think about them being younger until something "happens" and you suddenly have the age difference slammed into your face, shocking you into realisation that "kids these days" are actually adults, meaning you're an even OLDER adult? Yeah, that's what happened here. Enjoy!

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Oscar Travesties

No, I'm not talking about the horrendous lapses in reason and judgement that allowed Crash (in the simplistically pandering tradition of The Shawshank Redemption and Dead Poets Society), Gladiator (swords, and sandals and blood, OH MY!), and Braveheart (historical inaccuracy at its zenith) to snag the coveted Best Picture statuette. I'm talking about those hideous song and dance numbers. And I'm not actually talking about the ones Hugh Jackman performed this year, which have their defenders and detractors in equal measure. I thought they were "ok" at best, and uninspired (musically) at their least. But by no means all-out travesties. Plus, dude is sexy and I don't mind watching him shake it one little bit.
No, my friends. For a real travesty, you must think back 20 years, in that dark dark time known as the 1980's. An era where Pia Zadora was a common fixture at A-list galas. When every year, a studio produced a feature length vehicle for the talents of Shelly Long. Women's shoulders couldn't be padded enough, there was no dress that could not benefit from more sequins being sewn on, and America was being run by an administration that never once mentioned the word AIDS. (See? I can never resist throwing in sociopolitical commentary, it's just who I am)
But then one Oscar night.....this abomination was unleashed on an unsuspecting public. It literally blows the mind with its sheer awfulness. On the plus side, it does cross over into the territory of the So Bad It's Good guilty pleasure. Like a Joel Schumacher wet-dream gone horribly wrong (as if a Joel Schumacher would be anything BUT horribly wrong anyway....) it simply must be seen to be believed.

Some Points of Interest:
1. Who the FUCK is this disaster that's playing Snow White, how many cocks did she suck to get this gig, and where is she now???
2. Who cobbled together this 'medley'? It's not witty, it's not aurally-pleasant, and nobody in that auditorium (or watching at home) is the least bit impressed.
3. Look at Sigourney Weaver at the 1:20 mark. She deserves an award for forcing that smile, while her eyes say "Bitch, if your no-talent ass dares to interact with me I will CUT YOU! I am ELLEN FUCKIN' RIPLEY!"
4. Just when you think it can't get any does. This is fucking hideous. Did a softly-retarded fifth-grader rewrite the words to these songs? Oh! Now they're parading out old-time Hollywood stars amidst this gaudy 80's puke festival, shitting on the concept of nostalgia.
5. At the 3:10 mark...Cyd Charisse!! Looking as lovely as ever, and bringing the sole touch of grace to this debacle. Well done, you.

And on and on and on and on..Rob Lowe and Snow White? Singing a horridly written nonsense version of Proud Mary (of all things)? Who thought this was a good idea?

So, yeah. Even if you didn't like the musical numbers of the past Oscar ceremony, at least we can take solace in knowing that it wasn't as bad as this.
Oh "Memories of my Hollywood" indeed.

Love, Little Kiwi

Saturday, 14 March 2009

Just Some More Ramblings

Mok and Little Kiwi's alter-ego (Riff Randall, Rock'n'Roller) reflect on the countless lives that will be saved, and families that will be put back together, thanks to the incredible acceptance speeches by Dustin Lance Black and Sean Penn at the 2009 Academy Awards. Thank God for for TiVO (actually, it's not TiVo, it's some other version of recording live tv...) because as Black said his speech, Me, Mok and Mok's fiance pretty much lost our shit. I mean, fuck, I was a complete wreck, realising how much that speech was going to mean to all the LGBT children out there, and their friends and families, and I was just completely overwhelmed. We must have watched it 3 or 4 times. Then, when Sean Penn won, we fucking erupted with joy. "WE WON, WE WON!!!" And of course, his speech was incendiary and brilliant. Lance Black spoke to the LGBT people, specifically the youth, Penn spoke to those who are working so hard to deny them equality. Two completely necessary and life-saving speeches, my friends. Sure beats a laundry-list of agents, lawyers and such that other people seem to think constitutes a "speech".

So, that was that. Oscars. Speeches. Reflections of childhood. Religious hypocrisy. Mok and I roleplaying parents and kids having the "why Mommy and Daddy fight" know, just an average Wednesday night with my best friend.
Love ya!
Little Kiwi

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Little Kiwi Loves Bauhaus!

Just a little laughter from Mok and Riff (aka, Little Kiwi) on a Monday night. Funny voices, references to Saturday Morning cartoon commercial bumpers, and a reference to a last week's discussion on my previous blog post (ie, "Dude, why are you posting pictures of your ass on your blog??)
*Little Kiwi stands by his beliefs about freedom of artistic expression and refuses to compromise his artistic integrity by putting on pants*

:-) Enjoy.

Oh! And for those who are either too young, too old, or didn't watch Saturday morning television between 1987 and 1992, this is what we're referencing.....

Saturday, 21 February 2009

53rd and 3rd....NYC......1975

It's not just an intersection, it's a statement about homosexuality in the 1970's. Dee Dee Ramone, punk rocker extraordinaire (and one of my first gay crushes) used to hustle on 53rd and 3rd in the 1970's. My idol, Ethan Mordden, has written about the male hustlers who lined the street back then, looking for johns, hoping to make a buck, get a meal, make it through one more week. The young man, unpolished, hardened by a homophobic society, makes his way to NYC in hopes of finding 'something better', but a big city can be just as unforgiving as a small town. Then there's the boys who weren't gay, but did what they had to do to make a buck. Beautiful blonde mid-Western boys. Skinny punked out golden thugs. Angel faces. Faces that have weathered storms.
Faces that can't smile anymore, but can sneer, smirk, or stare you down with grimly intense carnality.

I've had an obsession with vintage gay erotic imagery for as long as I can remember. Joe D'Allessandro. OMG, Joe D'Allessandro, wow. I remember watching all those Andy Warhol/Paul Morrissey films and just dyyyyyyying over the blank, expressionless sexuality of "Little Joe". *sigh* Then we have Jon King. The "Noll Brothers" (SCOTT NOLL is my dream). Brian Hawks. In my early teens, late tweens, I read a biography of Dee Dee Ramone, and it touched on his time spent working as a rentboy. In my pre-adolescent (ie, "stupid") mind I remember thinking, "Damn...that's so HOT!" *sigh*

But it goes further than just the concept of "hot". I'm intrigued by who these young men were, and are. The young guy who poses for photos in a grimy setting for a couple of bucks. The men of all ages who buy the magazine and fantasize about the young man in the photographs. Who is he? Where is he? What would he rather have been doing than posing nude? No matter where he ended up, his image is burned in their minds, perhaps forever. A couple of bucks for one man, but an entire ideology of sexuality to another. That these photographs, in these magazines, get passed around, traded, shared, remembered.

When you look at those vintage 70's (and earlier) gay erotic films and photos, you're looking at social history, not just sexual history. My absolutely insane crush on 1970's porn star Scott Noll. He's DREAMY.

But did he think, back in the 70's, that he'd be remembered by some kid 30 years later? Did he know, when he got paid to pose for those photos, or make those films, that he would be an Icon of Sexuality to generations? Probably not. Heck, there was no such thing as "home video" back then.
He wanted to make a quick buck to get through the week. But he unknowingly became immortalized in the minds of many, myself included.

The mix of trash and sex. Filth and beauty. A gorgeous young man in a completely non-gorgeous setting. The young and beautiful and bruised stripped down to nothing to make ends meet. Dichotomies. Must a person remove their dignity with their clothes? Who enjoyed being naked? Who hated it? Can one ever really tell? How many sex-fantasies do people have involving public toilets? The fetishizing of non-sexual things such as knee-socks, jockstraps, soccer shorts, long hair, Converse shoes, army boots, etc.

It's not just an aesthetic thing, it's what those items remind you of that makes them sexual.

So, that's what this (me playing dress-up, or "dress-DOWN") was about. Iconography. Inhabiting that character. Adopting their signature props. The hair. The shoes. The socks. The frowns.

These guys who I'll never meet, many of whom have long since passed, left a very specific mark on me and how I perceive sexuality, sex, sensuality, art, and body image. I grew up listening to 70's rock and punk music, and a lot of classical and opera. My adolescence was, thanks to the internet, greatly influenced by the sexual imagery of the 1960's and 70's. I'm nostalgic for an era I've never experienced, and I tip my hat to those men and women who explored the sexual realm back then, and continue to do so today. I'm one who believes there is actually a rather positive psychological benefit to pornography and/or erotica. It says "Yeah, you're not the only one who's into this." Heck, there were times (ugh, that still exist in many places) where people are still told that it's not only "wrong and immoral" to have thoughts about members of the same gender, but that NOBODY ELSE HAS THEM. Uh....thanks, Mindfuck Jones. Pornography (when made properly) shows that sex can be fun, humourous, exploratory, highly emotional, adventurous and more. Fetishes. "Scenes". "Types". The props. The costumes. The roles. The attitudes. It's all out there. As weird and unique as you think (hope?) you are, you're not the only person who's into the things you're into.

Little Kiwi

Sunday, 15 February 2009

Try to Stay Focused, Boys....

But we can't! It's IMPOSSIBLE! Tangents, tangents, tangents!
Ok, so Mok and I are all over the place. This is what happens when you smoke and try to figure out world peace. You just get sidetracked. On the upside, you also remember some very funny stories. World War II leads to Vietnam leads to Bad Comedy leads to us stating that we include "Pippin" in the list of the "couple thousand musicals that we hate", bus gets brought back around to the comedy show, bad 80's clothes, and WASP's that don't understand why their "Hampton's Humour" doesn't translate to an NYC audience. And then back to Vietnam. It's pretty rad.
Little Kiwi (aka, Riff Randall: Rock N'Roller)

Oh! And here's the "Select Dental" commercial we find so hilarious. This version has the insert from the comedian guy we talk about during our rambles. He's pretty funny. The original version of this commercial is pretty legendary in the NYC area. It's just so lame. And that guy talking about his "WIFE"? yeahhhh.....wife.....right. Mhmmm..

Saturday, 14 February 2009

Putting it All in Perspective, Little Kiwi's alter ego Riff (aka, "Riff Randall, Rock N'Roller) continues to ponder the deeper questions in life with his best friend Mok (aka, "My name is Mok, thanks a lot).
Did we solve world peace? Well, get 420 friendly and decide for yourself!
Of course we're too random to make it stick, but hey, that's life.
But we stand by our assertions.
It's completely fucked up that America is up in arms over Michael Phelps smoking pot while the majority seems to not care about the fact that a Majority has just decided what a minority group can or cannot do. Gay marriage is being banned. Other states are passing laws to deny gay couples partner benefits (medical, etc.), and wayyyy more because "it might lead to gay marriage".
This is bullshit. Every religious organisation that has a "we think homosexuality is wrong" stance has blood on their hands, and ditto the people who continue to support and ennable them. I'm not saying "give up your religion", I'm saying "Grow a fucking pair of balls and have the decency to stand up to institutions that are propagating anti-gay ideologies." The Pope has red red hands, my friends. Oh, and Fuck the Mormon church and their ennablers, and fuck all the gay Mormons who stand by their cult and say "Well...there's a lot of Good in the LDS church...". FUCK that. Everything that you think is good about the LDS exists in other forms of spiritual/religious outlets with NONE of the crap your fucking cult (because that's what it is, folks) propagates.
Hey Mormons, remember that part of your Book about how black people are a cursed race of Cain and how God made them black to show how cursed they are, and they're not "pure" and when they die, IF they get to heaven somehow, they'll only enter heaven as "servants"? Remember that? Because I do.....

So Prop 8 passing was a disgrace. Seriously. "Civil Unions" is a cop-out. Civil Unions is saying "Hey, there's something inherently 'inferior' about you people, so we can't have you drinking from OUR drinking fountains, so we're going to make you your own, and they serve the exact same purpose, and they have the exact same water in them, and they're just for you, but you can't call it a 'drinking fountain' because that's OUR word, but you can call yours (which is the same thing) a "water dispenser", becase we recognise that you gay people want to drink water.."
Bullshit. Everyone that voted for Prop 8 is a disgrace to human equality, and MLK is no doubt rolling in his grave over this. It's appalling. Prop 8 supporters will one day be apoligised for and forgotten like the anti-integrationists of previous decades.

Michael Phelps only knows how to swim. He swims every day, and then he trains out of the water TO swim every day. For years. Every day. The he enters his swimming races. And he wins lots of medals. And then he takes time off. And he drinks. And smokes pot. And gambles. And you all judge him for not behaving that way YOU would like. Fuck you. You broke a human. You made a human a machine and then expected him to live up to your standards of socially acceptable behavior when all he really knows how to do is swim. So fuck you, it's your fault, not his.

Friday, 13 February 2009

Talkin' 'bout 'ginas

'Ginas as in VA-ginas. Vaginas. Plural.
Well, Mok and I had a really deep discussion going about the world, where we all fit in, blah blah blah, and naturally it progressed towards the vagine. And luckily (or maybe unluckily) for us, it was captured on tape. This is pretty much minures 17-23 of a thirty minute conversation that spanned space and time. Yay. Enjoy.

Oh....and for your viewing pleasure, here's the video of the aerobic queef that we're both obsessed with!

Monday, 2 February 2009

The Single Ladies of Antarctica

Well, actually, it's Lake Ontario, just 90 minutes East of Toronto. WOOHOO!
A weekened of champagne and sweet mary-jane kisses and a near-constant habit of taking the piss out of Beyonce Knowles and her recent obsession with quasi-Fosse choreography.

So, two of my single ladyfriends took to the frozen lake, with little miss Bauhaus (not her real name) in tow.

That's all for now. I promise a sociopolitical rant any day now, I'm in the midst of exams and can't formulate a cohesive thought to save my life.

Sunday, 18 January 2009

Hangovers, Dogs and Why Catholicism Sucks

The secret really is more booze. Just kidding. It's Pot! And that's the truth. *phhhthhhhbbbbbt*
HAHAHA! Edith-Ann. :-)
But seriously, this is a video of three hungover dudes. At the lakehouse, new years' day, hungover to high heaven, downing coffee and advil liquigels like there's no tomorrow.*

*(Ok, and nobody get all Dr. Know-it-All on me about the dangers of taking advil on a liver-damaged hungover system. I don't give a fuck if I hurt my liver, I just want my headache to go away so I can resume drinking again as soon as possible. You should just be happy I'm not behaving like that cokehead I used to date and snorting line after line of blow instead)

Anyway, it seemed to work, because in no time we were out romping on the frozen lake, as documented in a previous post and soon to be followed by the world premier of our Antarctic Single Ladies music video which I'm currently in the process of editing.

I just wanted to post this video because whenever people hear "pitbull" they freak out like I said "nazi child-molesting cannibal priest" or some shit. Hahah, did I just say what I think I said? I think I did. Hahaha. How redundant. Everyone knows priests are just child-fucking Nazis who eat human flesh. It's just common knowledge.
And don't get all sanctimonious on me and defend those kidfuckers. The Catholic Church should be able to keep its own fucking nose clean before it goes around criticizing any other groups of people.
But anyway, back to my main thesis which is "Pitbulls are Reflections of Their Owners". For example, Bauhaus (not her real name) is the cutest, most lovable creature ever. Just like her owners. And she only attacks people who vote Conservative. Just like her owners. And she can lick her own privates. Just like....well....*sigh*.........not anymore.
Anyway, enjoy.

So yeah. Pitbulls are adorable, loyal and loving dogs that will externally reflect the internal nature of their owners, Hangovers suck, but advil, Pepto Bismol (Cherry!), weed and good friends sure can make all the difference, and Roman Catholicism is a hypocritical and archaic institution that exists solely to keep itself and the men who run it adorned in frilly frocks and jewels, all the while condemning those who are 'different'. Seriously. That is all.
Love, Little Kiwi

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Need a Laugh?

Because, my friends, this video never ceases to crack me up.
Beautifully spot-on, it evokes a specific time and place and era in filmmaking. Consider this my mid-week gift to you.

For the record, it's from the 80's film "Loose Shoes" which is a compilation of fabricated trailers and trailer spoofs for different films through the decades.
Consider it a belated Christmas gift from Little Kiwi. I'm sorta like Santa. But with a pack instead of a keg.


Friday, 9 January 2009

How it Begins.....

A love for the theatrical. Music, lyrics, and finding romance in the most seemingly mundane of experiences. Flights of fancy. The discovery of 'camp' value.
And of course....that musical that excites you in such a way that you feel you are someone else.
For me, it was West Side Story.
For Lil'Jake, here, it's Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera.

Adorable, eh? And I truly hope that the humour his family finds in it stays just that way, and doesn't cross over into shame, embarassment or oppression.
Because this is how it (often) starts. Am I making a flat-out prediction for the kid's future? No. I'm just saying that....sometimes...this is how it starts. And if this is how it starts for lil'Jake, I simply hope his family keeps their good humour about it.  

Best of luck on your journey, kiddo!
Little Kiwi

Sunday, 4 January 2009

How Canadians Do It

So, it was the first day of 2009. Spent the holiday with two great friends at my lakehouse, surrounded by snow, ice, stars and that's about it.
Then we had a lovely inebriated walk on the lake.
:-) Enjoy.

Little Kiwi Loves Bauhaus

Little Kiwi Loves Bauhaus
Good Dog!