Phoebe Cates Made Me Gay

Oh, my childhood love for Phoebe Cates, which I've never outgrown. From the skin-baring tawdriness of "Paradise" (if you're gonna rip off a film, why rip off a film as lousy as "The Blue Lagoon"?), and "Private School", to the 80s classics that are Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Gremlins. The typical 80s-curios that are Lace and Lace II ("Incidentally, which one of you bitches is my mother?"), Date With An Angel, and then her all-too-fleeting but actually wonderful work in the 1990s. Drop Dead Fred? It's a cult film my generation has embraced. Princess Caraboo? One of the sweetest of the 90s-era of lavishly-mounted period romps. And then "The Anniversary Party", where her ecstasy-fueled breakdown about motherhood stops the show.

I LOVE HER. And I always have. And I always will.